About 25 years ago a marriage counselor named Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a now-iconic book called The 5 Love Languages (which, yes, you can buy on Amazon). Over two decades later, new generations of people continue to discover his concept of “the five love languages” and apply them to their lives and relationships. What is […]
Life Coaching
This Cool Scientific Survey Accurately Identifies Your Character Strengths
I was first directed to the VIA Character Strengths Survey in the course of taking Dr. Laurie Santos’ class, The Science of Well-Being, which is the most popular course ever offered in Yale‘s 300-year history. As part of an initial happiness assessment, Professor Santos directed us to this character strengths test as part of a […]
9 Common Themes in Scary Dreams, and What They Mean for Mental Health
Oneiromancy is the Ancient Greek art of using dreams to interpret the future– and since this early period in civilization, society has maintained a persistent and often controversial obsession with using dream interpretation for mental health. Humankind has a long history of collective fascination with dreams– from early religious ceremonies to psychological thought leaders like […]
“Self-Care” vs. “Self Comfort” (And Why You Need Both)
Here’s a novel idea: consider that self-care alone might not be enough to truly resolve your inner feelings of stress and wellbeing. This is because many wellness experts talk about “self-care” when what most people really need is the ability to “self comfort.” Self-care is all the usual stuff— diet, exercise, meditation, time with friends, […]
The ‘Psychic Sponge’ Effect: How To Be Less Sensitive To Other People’s Emotions
Empaths who are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions are often exhausted by the so-called “psychic sponge” effect. When you’re a very sympathetic person that’s acutely aware of other people’s emotions and “vibes”, moreover, they call that being a “psychic sponge.” For people who identify with this level of heightened emotional awareness, navigating life can […]
A Quick Breakdown of Byron Katie’s “The Work”, & How To Practice At Home
Byron Katie is a best-selling author and thought leader famous for her methodology of working with difficult emotions, which she calls “The Work”. She is most famous for this practice, which helps folks who are struggling or seeking greater mental wellbeing identify the root of what is *really* bothering them. In a climate where many […]
A Prayer For When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom
So– you’ve hit rock bottom, you’re feeling scared and lonely, and this is what you consider to be your lowest point. Maybe you’re sick, maybe you’ve experienced massive loss, maybe your worst fear or greatest terror in life has been realized: Now what? Even if you’re not religious, you can still use mindful self-talk– which […]
How To Use Glimmers (The Opposite of Triggers) to Relieve Stress
I first heard about glimmers and the concept of a “glimmers list” when somatic coach Sarah Baldwin mentioned them both in a tutorial about how anxious people can learn to understand and regulate their nervous system. After 10 years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and about ~3 years of Somatic Therapy, I was surprised that this […]
How To Listen Better (An Essential Skill That We Need To Practice More)
If you follow me on Instagram you know that I’ve been on this kick recently of really trying to be a better listener. What follows is a parable that sums up why. A few weeks ago, I heard a conversation between critically-acclaimed psychologist Harriet Lerner and shame researcher Brené Brown that piqued my interest with […]
Watch Esther Perel’s Concise Lesson on How to Argue Better
Esther Perel is a preeminent psychotherapist and relationship expert from Belgium, who is known for her dynamic research on everything from couples intimacy to argument style. She is the author of several New York Times bestselling books on relationships (including The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity) as well as the creator of a new, intriguing […]