People who struggle with the concept of forgiveness– both for themselves and for others– often find comfort in a deeply healing age-old practice that comes from Hawai’i. The beautiful Hawaiian teaching for Forgiveness is called “Ho’oponopono” (pronounced HO-oh-Po-no-Po-no), and it’s lovely.
This ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness functions as both a communication concept for reconciliation and a tool for restoring self-love and balance.
In solo practice, it can also work as an invocation that begets self-love. And, even more surprisingly, it’s super simple.
The word ho’oponopono roughly translates to “cause things to move back in balance” or to “make things right.” It’s a concept very much oriented toward the power of equanimity. (In native Hawaiian language, “pono” means balance, in the sense of “life.” When things are in balance, nothing is off, so to speak.)
Accordingly, chanting this phrase over and over is a powerful way to cleanse the body of guilt, shame, haunting memories, ill will, or bad feelings that keep the mind fixated on negative thoughts.
As a forgiveness practice, it is also deeply resonant, as it tends to penetrate our inner monologue over time.
To try it out for yourself, follow along with the practice, below.
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“I’m Sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I Love You”
To “cleanse” yourself of bad feelings, chant the following words repeatedly while sitting with your eyes closed, as a kind of meditation.
“I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”
That’s it. And isn’t that something we all need to hear? “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.” It’s very touching, especially given how simple and universal these words are.
With regular practice, reciting these four simple phrases helps develop self-love and self-esteem at the times when we need it most. In this way, it’s both a lullaby to the self and a guaranteed insightful way to approach forgiving other people.
Part of the reason why this traditional Hawaiian forgiveness ritual is so powerful is that it first requires you to acknowledge that wrong was done by saying you’re sorry.
Having other people acknowledge our feelings is a universal need; in ho’oponopono, you must first acknowledge that wrongdoing exists, which is a way of acknowledging these feelings. Only then will it be possible to find it in your heart to forgive someone else, or yourself.
In the final step, you acknowledge love– both for yourself, and others.
Most people, when attempting to forgive either others or themselves, make the mistake of thinking that forgiveness = total absolution, or an erasing of the wrongdoing. This is ultimately futile because it ignores hurt feelings, which inevitably bubble back up later if they are not addressed.
Understanding True Forgiveness
On the contrary, true forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. Instead, by first acknowledging the wrongdoing, ho’oponopono allows all parties to sit with and hold space for these feelings.
First, we acknowledge that the problem exists. Then, when we are ready, we make the conscious choice to move on.
True forgiveness, moreover, requires both attention and intention. When done correctly, it is one of the most freeing sensations there is– like an invisible weight has been lifted.
Historically, ho’oponopono was a kind of shared reconciliation practice for divided families, also known as Ohana.
In the modern era, it remains a highly effective mediation practice for forgiveness, both in helping people navigate hurt feelings and feelings of resentment towards others. But it can also be abstractly applied to healing the self.
For people who carry a lot of guilt, it’s also an easy way to practice self-comfort when you’re feeling down.
Ho’oponopono for Self Forgiveness
To practice ho’oponopono, take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed.
Then, slowly repeat these phrases to yourself about 7 or 8 times. (“I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you… I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you“— and so on.)
End with a few moments of silence to let the message resonate. Open your eyes. How do you feel?
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There are also passive ways to experience this message. Some people play the ho’oponopono words over and over in the background while working or trying to fall asleep. This way, you get some good vibes by osmosis, which can be particularly helpful in cultivating more self-love and compassion.
^ If you are someone who is very hard on themself, this might be more moving than you anticipate.
Below, watch a YouTube video of Kumu Sabra Kauka, a Hawai’ian elder, historian, educator, and activist speaking about the Hawai’ian tradition of Ho’oponopono, and how it is applied.
“It is much bigger to forgive than to carry the burden of blame and to move on,” Kauka notes. “Because only by forgiving and moving on can you reach a higher point.”
Watch her short explanation, below.
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Related: Struggling to reconcile your own feelings about forgiveness?
Use this 5-Step Method for Identifying Misplaced Emotions.
The Silent Power of Listening Better, in 3 Easy Mantras.
Check out the 9 Best Free Meditation Videos on YouTube Right Now. (We’ve also curated links to 6 Great Free Meditation Apps + Podcasts that can help calm your nervous system.)
Thank you for this. I am carrying a lot of guilt and shame for a bad choice that I recently made. It may or may not impact me negatively for the rest of my life. I really needed this. Much appreciated 🙏
This is the most powerful mantra It brings alot of peace and positive energy. I live my this mantra
Thank you. 🙏
The most Beautiful prayer that I ever heard ❤
I was reluctant to even try to make sense of those words. I force myself to digest their meanings and purpose, then it became clear to me to that:: “I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you and I love you.” “Ho’oponopono”. It can be very hard to say those words, but with practice the soul feel them. It makes the body feel clean from all the toxicities of life and inner self.
Alliancy Calice U.S. Air Force Veteran/ humanist
Ono🙏🤙🤓😷🇺🇸❤️Very sage advice
I found this reading a surfing book . It’ had amazing results on negative thinking typically brought on by the sub conscious mind . When I notice my mind go there I simply apply the prayer and after time my negative mental space is residing !! Thanks so much
Insightful. Amazing. Can it be used for distance healing for family and friends?
Yes, of course! Forgiveness work, like energy work, doesn’t necessarily require proximity– just thoughtful, conscious intention. 🙂
Thank you very much for this. I have made mistakes and bad choices and lost friends and there has been bad feelings. I have felt deep shame and regret. This is so helpful and healing. It’s helping me to shift from this deeply painful place.
I just love this prayer,the vibrations I get when I chant this takes you to a parallel world altogether.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for your beautiful work, I love this prayer and it works for me,
Can I share your work to my relatives and friends?
Thank you.
I practice Ho’oponopono everyday. It truly settles the soul!! Much aloha to all!
Dear💕 Please throw some light as to how you chant it as a daily ritual?
This practice gives peace to soul and mind, it’s “a magical prayer”. I wonder if there is any right time of the day we should do it?
Hi Pia– You can practice this prayer at any time of day! As long as you can dedicate a quiet moment to focus on it without distractions, you will reap the benefits. Just honor the practice with your attention and consistency. 🙂
Can you say this to someone you offended & regret what was said to them unintentionally?
In theory, absolutely! Ho’oponopono is more of a meditation that you practice yourself, but you can absolutely direct that intention towards someone you offended, intentionally or unintentionally.
Beautiful ❤️🌸Thank you for the meditation!
a clearing, cleaning, healing and freeing prayer, song, chant and mantra to be used whenever you feel like it, no correct time , it is always now…”I’m sorry, Please forgive me, and Thank you, i love you…peace
I was first guided to the prayer once again by someone I love deeply. At the time I never new how strong she was.. And how broken I had become. Though I am still dealing and working towards my journey this prayer has kept me safe. Believe me as simple as it looks,it takes time to get in tune. With it. But the reward you get from getting it right. Will see you using the prayer day and night. I do. And I have still a long journey ahead..🙏
Recently some one sent this to me by WhatsApp, I really impact my life. I feel so much in my body. I am so thankful and grateful. I learn to let go and take compete responsibility stop blaming and criticizing others , forgiving ;has always been easy for me. I never hold nothing against people when they wrong me. Now i know better that every thing has to do with me. not others every thing is with in.
I am, so bless with HO OPONOPONO.
Thank you Carmen
I am going to try it for my friend’s father and for my brother as I am estranged from him and my friend is estranged from her father
I must say that at first it seems strange, but once you start to say the mantra it actually soothes your soul 🙏🏻
Can we do this prayers for all family.
Using we instead of I .
WE ARE SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE US
WE LOVE U
WE THANK YOU.
Yes, of course!
Thank you for this. I hadn’t realised I had a block until I did this. I have been carrying around guilt for over 40 years. Before I practiced the mantra I hadn’t even remembered the guilt. It resurfaced and made me experience a lot of emotion. I now feel that this Mantra will help me to remove other blockages, and experience love and light at a deeper, more intrinsic level. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you so very much. 🌺
Ive been doing this for some people who are angry about my views, I can’t stop picturing them, so i i might as was love bomb them. Do you think it will soften there hard stance?
Thank you for this inspirational motivational message!
Can I use this as background ‘music’ for the bedroom for the entire night for me and my child?
Thank you
If you are looking for “background music” I would instead consider playing music that is specifically designed for relaxation, like this: https://graceandlightness.com/most-calming-song-in-the-world-relaxation-music/
Does it work for relationship? i mean can it remove the obstacles between two people?
^ I suppose it depends on what those obstacles are. This video about arguments in relationships might be helpful perspective: https://graceandlightness.com/esther-perel-how-to-argue-better/
Can these words be used for removing a toxic person from our daily life (clingy, manipulative, toxic ex) ? What would you recommend I rather do?
Thank you
For that, I would consider doing any of these practices to help with building better boundaries (and creating some psychological safety for yourself): https://graceandlightness.com/psychic-sponge-highly-sensitive-people/
I say it to my “INNER CHILD” it is magical and powerful
I love that! Inner child work is so, so important. That’s how we heal the world 🙂 <3
This came to me in my dream early this morning. I googled it and found what it means. I have begun practicing it and find my mind calmer within half an hour itself!
So beautiful, thank you so much
Ho ‘ oponopono is such a very powerful prayer. Not only for the forgivee but the forgiver. Both are Blessed. One for acknowledging a wrong, asking for forgiveness and letting go of the guilt. Not so easy sometimes but a great Blessing and relief.
The forgiver, if willing, gets to release the hurt and/or the need to punish. Very freeing and releases a heavy load, both emotional, physical and mental as well as spiritual. Another Wonderful Blessing! It’s very healing and when you do it for yourself you are doubly blessed.
If I know what I am sorry for, I like to add that too.
I Love it, Thank You!
So very powerful. Thank you.
My husband passed away April 2023. He was very ill and meditated frequently. I found 2 index cards he had written …..
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you.
He also mentioned the book
The Little Soul and the Sun
I am on a healing journey
Regrets, guilt, longing for the chance that will never be
to share another day with him.
He has given me a gift I have been searching for with his intention
Grateful
This is such a powerful prayer. I experienced a situation that kept me worried too much though it was not my fault. This cleared my worried feeling and I felt so peaceful after continually listening to this prayer. It’s so soothing and helps to realise that love and forgiveness are very powerful.
I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I LOVE YOU!